Happy Christmas Eve
It's Christmas eve day here in Texas (I'm sure it is the same every where else as well.) and I'm waking up to Bill Collectors calling for my Dad. Ain't Holidays grand?
It's around 9:30 in the AM, and all I want to do is go back to bed.
So, I've never been a Christmas girl. I've always hated it because the things in my past where dark, dank, and loved to torture me around the Holidays. This is the first Christmas that doesn't have the threat of disaster hanging over my head and I'm terrified.
I just know that something bad will happen, I will get a six hour lecture from my Aunt that I don't do SOMETHING right, or how I am just like my mother. Ugh.
But, on a much lighter note, I have a mystery present from THE BOY. He absolutely WILL NOT tell me what it is. I'm dying to know. I guess I'll find out tomorrow... Or tonight! Depends on if my pout is working.
All I have to do is stick out that lower lip and THE BOY falls. It's kind of nice. He treats me like a princess and... We'll see.
Complete different subject: The song by the Killers, 'Somebody Told Me' is great to dance to. *sigh*
It's kind of hard to get into the Christmas spirit around here! I've got so much other going on... Money issues that are so far beyond how are the bills going to get payed next month. And, my Grandmother gave me $200 dollars for Christmas, but I spent it on other people so they would have presents from me. My love life is complicated, to say the least.
Avoiding phone calls is not something I'm proud of, but it's better than hurting someone's feelings. She's a sweet girl, really. Just, not my type. REALLY not my type. And then there's the Cheerleader. Ugh, we won't go there, I'm just a toy to her when we talk. But, hey, every one likes to be played with some times. Then, the kinda-sorta girl. We were kinda-sorta dating. But long distance relationships are hard. And she's been wroking like crazy these last few days - like 15 hour shifts with 5 hours of sleep. Of course, we have THE BOY. As awful as this sounds to my gayness, He's my favorite. I have been friends with this guy since we were like, 7! I tell him everything, because he is my best friend. Has been for YEARS! He makes me warm and comfortable (emotional feeling type warm and comfortable). Which is more than I can say for the others. So, I've got crazyness happening in that department. But the worst thing...
The one I want? Doesn't want me... Yeah. We always want what we can't have, isn't that right? Well, damn. I hate it when cliches are right. She is happily committed to a brat girl who I can't stand, but won't say anything because I'm spineless. So, yuck. Grr. Ugh. And other various noises.
Merry Christmas if I don't get back to the computer tmorrow.
Toodles.
It's around 9:30 in the AM, and all I want to do is go back to bed.
So, I've never been a Christmas girl. I've always hated it because the things in my past where dark, dank, and loved to torture me around the Holidays. This is the first Christmas that doesn't have the threat of disaster hanging over my head and I'm terrified.
I just know that something bad will happen, I will get a six hour lecture from my Aunt that I don't do SOMETHING right, or how I am just like my mother. Ugh.
But, on a much lighter note, I have a mystery present from THE BOY. He absolutely WILL NOT tell me what it is. I'm dying to know. I guess I'll find out tomorrow... Or tonight! Depends on if my pout is working.
All I have to do is stick out that lower lip and THE BOY falls. It's kind of nice. He treats me like a princess and... We'll see.
Complete different subject: The song by the Killers, 'Somebody Told Me' is great to dance to. *sigh*
It's kind of hard to get into the Christmas spirit around here! I've got so much other going on... Money issues that are so far beyond how are the bills going to get payed next month. And, my Grandmother gave me $200 dollars for Christmas, but I spent it on other people so they would have presents from me. My love life is complicated, to say the least.
Avoiding phone calls is not something I'm proud of, but it's better than hurting someone's feelings. She's a sweet girl, really. Just, not my type. REALLY not my type. And then there's the Cheerleader. Ugh, we won't go there, I'm just a toy to her when we talk. But, hey, every one likes to be played with some times. Then, the kinda-sorta girl. We were kinda-sorta dating. But long distance relationships are hard. And she's been wroking like crazy these last few days - like 15 hour shifts with 5 hours of sleep. Of course, we have THE BOY. As awful as this sounds to my gayness, He's my favorite. I have been friends with this guy since we were like, 7! I tell him everything, because he is my best friend. Has been for YEARS! He makes me warm and comfortable (emotional feeling type warm and comfortable). Which is more than I can say for the others. So, I've got crazyness happening in that department. But the worst thing...
The one I want? Doesn't want me... Yeah. We always want what we can't have, isn't that right? Well, damn. I hate it when cliches are right. She is happily committed to a brat girl who I can't stand, but won't say anything because I'm spineless. So, yuck. Grr. Ugh. And other various noises.
Merry Christmas if I don't get back to the computer tmorrow.
Toodles.
posted by Jessica at 7:30 AM
1 Comments:
Hello there Beautiful!
I wish you a merry X-Mas!!!
And I hope that some of your dreams come true at least!!
Scary
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